Many survivors face harassment at every turn
A woman who’s done everything she was supposed to, who’s found the strength to break off an abusive relationship, who may even be physically far away from her former abuser, can still find herself overwhelmed by a torrent of ugliness. Whether through text, social media or even e-transfers, a woman trying to build a new, safe life for herself may still end up being abused by a man willing to use any avenue he can to hurt her.
As with so many aspects of intimate partner violence, it is the woman who has to take precautions that upend her life, and even then, she may not be safe. She may need to change her phone number, and must block her abuser on email and all social media, being vigilant for new accounts he may create under different names. Many survivors have to abandon social media altogether to reduce their chances of being located.
Some men are even using the short messages connected to digital banking transfers to hurl insults and worse at the women who’ve left them. It’s appalling, but not surprising; at Women’s Resources and any organization serving women experiencing abuse, there are far too many examples of the lengths abusers will go to and the dogged creativity they will show in tracking a woman down.
Angie Sweeney of Sault Ste. Marie received a barrage of abusive e-transfers from her ex-boyfriend. He would send transfers of a few dollars just so he could rage at her in the message portion. He murdered her in October 2023.
After hearing about Sweeney, a nursing student in Ottawa decided she needed to tell her story of similar abuse by e-transfer. Her ex-boyfriend also sent cruel, belittling messages with tiny bank transfers, cutting through all her efforts to block him elsewhere.
It’s not an isolated situation. The CBC reports that in Australia, one bank found that in a three-month period, more than 8,000 customers received abusive messages. Banks there have taken the issue on through language filters and a button to report unwanted e-transfers.
Until Canadian banks come up with something similar, there are some steps you can take. If you or someone you know is experiencing this kind of harassment, or threatening messages via other social media or by text, report them. Tell the bank and tell police. Many women worry they won’t be taken seriously, and we can’t guarantee you’ll get results right away, but letting the authorities know will establish a pattern on the abuser’s part, which will help if and when it happens again.
Women’s Resources is always here if you need a listening ear or immediate advice. Call our 24/7 crisis support line day or night at 705-878-3662 or 1-800-565-5350. You’re not alone.
By Nancy Payne
