Leaving after abuse takes courage, but it’s just the beginning.
As outsiders we often have no idea when a person is abusing their partner. We also may not realize how long and difficult the process it is for that woman to rebuild her life. A shelter is a great start, but it’s just that—a start. Fortunately, the stepping stones we provide at Women’s Resources are there to help.
Imagine yourself having to flee your home with just a few essentials. Maybe you have children and your only chance to leave is in the middle of the night. You make it to our emergency shelter, Victoria’s, where staff ensure you’re safe and help you look after all the basics. Gradually, you set up your own life again, without fear of physical, mental, emotional or financial harm.
But eventually you need to move out. For 19 years, we ran Amy’s Second Stage Housing, an eight-unit complex in Fenelon Falls where women could live after leaving the shelter. That building was sold to Kawartha Lakes Haliburton Housing in 2021 to be made available for lower-income residents. Over its years of operations, Amy’s served 407 women and 456 children and had an occupancy rate of 97 per cent, but its location made it difficult for women who had legal or medical appointments in Lindsay, or who needed to get to the hospital.
Our brand new six-unit building in Lindsay will be ready for occupancy in the next few months, offering a safe, affordable place for women, and their children, known as second stage housing. Even though that’s exciting news, even this wonderful facility is only a temporary solution.
Women leaving an abusive relationship often have to start over with little or nothing, even as they are working to overcome the scars of their body, mind and soul. Abusers frequently go to extremes to punish a former partner financially, making it hard for her to save enough for a rent deposit. As we know, rents in our area are comparable to those in much bigger cities, and apartments can be just as hard to find.
Then there’s the question of how safe an apartment will be if her abuser is determined to track her down. From the security of a shelter and then second stage housing, moving out into the community can be a scary step, and one that puts a woman at risk.
It can all seem pretty overwhelming. According to Statistics Canada, one-third of women return to the home where their abuser also lived. (A smaller proportion were able to go home without the abuser living there, or moved in with friends or family). Study after study finds that intimate partner violence is one of the main reasons why women become homeless.
At Women’s Resources, we do our best to provide hope and support as women move toward greater independence. Since we opened in 1992, through our programs and services, we’ve served more than 22,000 women who have experienced abuse. Escaping gender-based violence is a long, hard road, but we’re here to help at every step.
Although we see a lot of pain and struggle, we also get to experience the joy of seeing a woman succeed. Amanda is a real-life example of that success right here in Kawartha Lakes. The great life she enjoyed out West with her three kids evaporated when her husband became involved with drugs, spiralling out of control and leading to financial, emotional and physical abuse. With debt piling up and in fear for her life, Amanda moved back here to her home community and connected with our counselling services. Her husband wasn’t paying the court-ordered support, so she moved in with family at first.
Recognizing the challenges that presented for everyone involved, she was relieved when an apartment opened up at Amy’s. Our counsellors helped her find her way to education, employment and housing. Now 40, Amanda has regained strength, independence and a future free of violence for herself and her children, thanks to the stepping stones available to help her get there.
If you’re living with abuse, call our 24/7 crisis line at 705-878-3662 or 1-800-565-5350.
By Nancy Payne
