We often talk about the women with children who come to our shelter and benefit from our other services, or about young survivors of human trafficking receiving our help to start rebuilding their lives. What surprises a lot of people, though, is the growth in the number of women over 50 looking for support to cope with or leave behind an abusive situation.
Whether they are mid-50s and still in the workforce, in their late 60s navigating retirement with a violent partner, or over 70 and feeling helpless in the face of neglect and abuse by family members, these women need the support and advocacy Women’s Resources provides. In areas such as family court support, outreach and community services, our staff have seen increases as high as 46 per cent among women over 50.
In many cases, they have experienced abuse for decades, and learned early on that they shouldn’t talk about their situation or try to change it. They have heard the messages that unequal gender roles are the norm and that they should submit to their partner, even if he’s violent.
Something we see far too often is financial abuse, often by the family members a woman trusts with access to her bank accounts. Or she may feel pressured to provide money in exchange for a place to live or help the family member provides. Still others may fall victim to financial fraud and scams that can trap almost anyone, let alone someone who’s naïve about technology.
What’s especially distressing, according to a Public Health Agency of Canada study, is that, “perpetrators can be spouses but can also be children, grandchildren, other relations, friends, residents in an institution and paid caregivers.” Male domestic partners or children are the most likely to be responsible later in a woman’s life, although at this stage, there are even more people who might be abusing her, sometimes taking advantage of her frailty or cognitive decline.
Fortunately, our understanding of intimate partner violence and elder abuse has evolved, and there are more services than ever before for older women who need help. Women’s Resources staff actively participate in the local Elder Abuse Committee, which helps them understand trends in the community and connect with others. Also, participating in events geared to elders is an important way to spread the word.
Research shows that perhaps 15 per cent of older women experiencing abuse seek help. They may feel embarrassed or blame themselves; fear what might happen to the perpetrator, the family’s reputation or how that person could retaliate; worry about the stigma of coming forward or simply not want to be left alone.
“Friends and family should watch for warning signs of abuse in older women, including sudden changes in behaviour, increased isolation, unexplained injuries, reluctance to discuss finances, or fearfulness around certain individuals. Financial abuse may present through unusual banking activity, missing belongings, or an overall lack of financial control,” says Alisha Fisher, Community Service Manager at Women’s Resources.
If you are worried that a woman you know of any age might be abused physically, sexually, emotionally or financially, or if you are experiencing intimate partner violence yourself, Women’s Resources is here to support you. You can call our crisis line any time of day, any day of the year at 705-878-3662 or 1-800-565-5350.
By Nancy Payne
