We wish we weren’t so busy. In fact, it’s safe to say that everyone at Women’s Resources would be delighted if our services were no longer needed—a goal we keep in mind even as we are serving those who rely on us.
That reality is heightened when you realize how few incidents of sexual assault and intimate partner violence are even reported to police. As with any attempt to measure something that doesn’t happen, estimates vary widely. Reliable studies suggest that somewhere between 75 per cent and 90 per cent of incidents of gender-based violence go unreported.
It’s hardly surprising, given the suffering experienced by those who do report physical, mental, emotional, financial or other forms of abuse. Although the justice system has made huge strides, survivors can still encounter the devastation of leaving a violent situation only to be disbelieved at worst and forced to repeat traumatic stories at best.
Researchers have found two recurring reasons why survivors of intimate partner violence in particular are unlikely to report to police what’s happened to them: they believe the matter is personal or shameful, or that it’s not that big a deal. For many, it’s a combination of both, something their abuser is very likely to reinforce to them as he belittles his partner’s fears while minimizing his actions.
With all that in mind, it’s amazing that anyone still insists that women exaggerate or even make up stories of abuse. Again, the reality is far different. According to the Ontario government, there is a very low rate of false reporting of crime in general, and the same is true for those experiencing gender-based violence. After all, why would anyone fabricate a story that was sure to cause them tremendous hardship and stress?
Those with disabilities or who are Indigenous or from minority communities are often even less likely to go to police to report abuse, even as they may be more likely to experience it.
Perhaps most heart-breaking of all, a Statistics Canada report shows, about one-third of all who experience intimate partner violence don’t talk about it with anyone, let alone with someone who can help change their circumstances or maybe even provide a way to escape the abuse.
We know this kind of violence is vastly under-reported in Canada. If you think someone you care about might be experiencing abuse, you can help without putting yourself at risk. Make sure your friend or family member knows she can talk to you about anything. Be supportive without blaming or preaching, and if there’s a safe time, slip her our phone number. Our 24- Hour Crisis Support Line 1-705-878-3662 or 1-800-565-5350 is here to help, with staff who will listen and provide connections to the services she needs.
By Nancy Payne
